"I don't have money on my mind/I do it for the love." Yeah, right. That's how Sam Smith decides to preface his offensively inoffensive debut, In the Lonely Hour: with "Money on My Mind", an upbeat outline of his ambitions and motivations for making music. Funny enough, it also happens to be the only good song on Lonely Hour. The unfortunate truth is that Sam Smith outright lied to you; he is, indeed, in it for the money, and one only needs to explore the forthcoming dozen or so songs (15 mind-numbers in the deluxe edition) to see for his or herself.

"Money on My Mind"'s jaunty, hook-driven sound sounds effortless and it partly is. Between Smith's genuinely impressive vocal range and producer Two Inch Punch, the chemistry of their collective talents is on par with the magic Smith found featuring on Disclosure's surprise smash hit "Latch". Following that song's relatively unexpected mainstream success, Smith obviously found himself in demand, (which he followed through with on "La La La", a collaboration with another popular UK garage act, Naughty Boy). It's crystal clear that Smith both had a set of pipes on him, and that he worked far too well within the realm of electronic music. His premiere single confirmed as much, the slinky, jittery synthpop of "Safe With Me", NOT to be confused with "Stay With Me" off this record. With two chart toppers and a Pitchfork nod under his belt, Smith announced In the Lonely Hour for a tentative early 2014 release. The anticipation shared by the blogosphere and indie print community (along with yours truly as well) was sky high.

However, the Two Inch Punch/Disclosure/Naughty Boy-facilitated hits were all part of an elaborate ruse, for despite Smith's calling being practically written on the wall, he did a complete 180 and decided to pursue the pseudo-intellectual, middle aged soccer mom, Starbucks demographic with Lonely Hour, striving to have his CD sit on the front counter alongside such quality contemporaries like... James Blunt, and, uh, Coldplay, and Norah Jones (ironically enough the three top contenders for hotel chain Travelodge's poll of the bands most likely to put you to sleep). It's possible that it was largely my fault for missing the signs; I recently discovered an interview Smith did where  he commented that his preview EP, Nirvana, which contained "Safe With Me" and "Money on My Mind", was where he dumped his more "experimental" material. In a market where Rhye's Woman and, duh, Disclosure's Settle were profitable crowdpleasers, I don't know what brain damage Smith must have suffered to consider his previous singles to be experimental in the least.

Aforementioned "Stay With Me" finds a smidgeon of success using Smith's hopelessly anemic new sound with its ghetto-choir backing chorus and a halfway pleasing melody, plus its lush harmonies. Other songs, like next single and following track on the album "Leave Your Lover", aren't so lucky, as they ape the tepid acoustic pop of Jose Gonzales and Sarah McLachlan while, in an incredible feat and against all odds, managing to have even less bite. Most of the non-singles come and go without much of a fuss, but it's this passive, insipid, mediocrity-settling idea of pop masquerading as indie-friendly that feels like a towering middle finger squarely aimed at those who rallied behind Smith from day one. Even when the languid pace picks up with the addition of actual drums, a groove, and more fleshed out instrumentation, such as in "Like I Can" or "Restart", Smith can't seem to shake his
mainstream ambitions, forgoing flourishes like the playful down-pitching of his voice on the bridge in "Safe With Me", in favor of a shaky Michael Jackson impersonation such as on "Restart", (which does include voice modulation, but it's too little, too late).

It's truly difficult to even attempt masking my perpetual disappointment with this album. As much as it includes songs I loved when I first heard them, like "Money On My Mind", the vast majority of what's presented here is unbearably languishing. "Restart", one of the few tracks that at least attempts to capture what made Smith so endearing in the first place, is relegated to a bonus track, as is his heartfelt "Latch" cover, but then again, that was already on the Nirvana EP anyway. Smith has talent, I have no doubt about that at all, and similarly, I also believe In the Lonely Hour will sell frighteningly well in Starbucks and department stores all over North America and the UK, as much as I wish it wouldn't. I just hope he will realize his hypocrisy and go back to Two Inch Punch, or even Disclosure, again and make some music the original fans wanted. Maybe it will take some harsh critical opinions to make him do just that.